Trauma Bonding is like a relationship the victim has with their abuser. When they see him they get in a situation of fear and depression. Mostly, it is fear as the victim is afraid that the abuser might attack them or have a bad impact on their mental again as they did before.
When Does Trauma Bonding Happen?
This bond is created due to the repeated bullying or abuse that the abuser or bully did to the victim. This bond is a complex one as the abuser tries to comfort the victim who they abused in the past. This tends to create a bond between the abuser and the victim hence called trauma bonding.
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Trauma bonding, as we said earlier, is a very confusing and overwhelming phenomenon because the abuser, who once got on our nerves, is trying to make us forgive and forget their past deeds and start a new relationship with us. This leads the victim to be confused and dependent on their abuser.
What are the Signs of Trauma Bonding?
The best sign you can see is when the abuser is trying to comfort the abuser by making him ensure that they have changed and this time they will be different. If this doesn’t work, they try to justify and make reasons for their past deeds that caused the victim to be tramatized.
Apart from this main sign, here’s a list of signs of trauma bonding:
- You agree with your abuser
- You try to understand their disturbing behavior
- You defend them when others try to tell you who they really are
- You can’t leave the abusive situation because you have gotten used to it
- If someone tries to help you, you hate them
- You distance yourself from the ones who try to care for you
- If the abuser treats you badly, you don’t stop them.
- You “defend” their deeds
How to Break a Trauma Bond?
Breaking a trauma bond is not easy when it’s been made with the abuser’s psychological kingship. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the person who wants to break a trauma bond should do the following:
Self-Care: No one is more important than you. In the world we live in, everyone has to put themselves first. Self-care is not selfish. Try to take care of yourself first and do not be inspired by the abuser.
Focus on the evidence: If the abuser is continuously abusing and having a negative impact on your mental health, acknowledge it and part your ways with them this way, not only will you be on the path of a new beginning, but also you will have the courage to face them and tell them what they did wrong
No More Promises from them: The abuser will try to make you comfortable by making promises that they will change and start a new life with you. Do Not listen to them, distance yourself from them. Do not meet them. Do not believe a single thing they say.
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