If you’ve just broken up with your girlfriend and realized you want her back, we’ve got you covered. Phew, right? Relationships are rough as it gets, and going through heartbreak can be extremely painful to bear –– especially if your ex is already seeing someone new.
If you’ve clicked on this article, I assume that your breakup probably didn’t go as well as you thought it may have been. However, don’t fret; your girlfriend isn’t gone just yet. We’ve got all the tips and tricks you need to win her back in your favor –– but remember to act with caution. Remember, things that you’ve once done with her (such as surprising her with flowers and gifts) can no longer work the same as they once did. Read on more to find the best help to get your ex back.
Here’s How To Get Her Back
No two relationships are the same, and every individual is different. So, we highly recommend you take these tips with a pinch of salt and only take action for the ones that you think are the most efficient. After all, only you know your ex best.
The first thing you should do is to introspect about your motivations for wanting her back –– what made you so sure that you want her back in your life? Before embarking on this quest, you have to be 100% certain of your reasons for saving this relationship. Take a moment and think. Maybe, you’ve realized that breaking up with her was a mistake and she is your true love? Or, perhaps she was the one who initiated the breakup, but you know that the new guy isn’t the right one for her –– and that only you can make her happy? There could be tons of other reasons but only you can figure out what it is. However, do note that by attempting to save the relationship, you may risk reopening old wounds and causing extra heartache to her. If your motives aren’t right, you probably should leave things be, and move on quietly.
Ignoring, Teasing, and Waiting
Yeah, you miss her and want to talk to her badly –– we get it. But, instead of rushing to send that first text (that might probably not end well), here are some methods that may result in a slightly more positive response. First, try ignoring her and place some distance between the two. While that may sound crude and torturous, getting some space from her will be much better in the long run than immediately chasing her back. This extra time, as arduous as it may be, allows both of you to reflect and introspect your feelings and emotions.
Next, you wait for her to initiate the first move. This might take a while, but if you’re patient enough to stick around, the fact that she made the first move shows that she still cares about you and wonders how you’re doing. If she does contact you first, reciprocate in a friendly manner and treat it as a casual conversation with a friend.
Once you’ve both started talking more frequently, it’s important to ensure that you’re in total control of your feelings and will not risk falling into the same trap as you were in once before. Developing your own space and maintaining that independence is the key to winning her back. Once you’re certain of your feelings, you might want to try and invoke a bit of jealousy in her. The other girl you hang out with in school or work? Mentioning her to your ex might make her curious, perhaps even jealous, which would spark her curiosity. Of course, don’t overdo this –– you don’t want to give off the wrong impression to your ex. Take this slowly, and when the time is right, slowly drop hints that you’ve missed her and you would like to go out with her again.
However, bear in mind that the last trick wouldn’t work if your ex has completely moved on, or is in a happy relationship with another guy. Unfortunately, as hurtful and unfair as that may be for you, a rebound relationship is a common occurrence when couples break up. Those who’ve just lost their partner very often miss the feeling of having someone to depend on, both physically and emotionally, which is when the urge of getting into a rebound relationship is the highest.
However, the good thing about rebounds is that they are often short-term, as the foundation for the relationship is significantly weaker and vulnerable than proper ones. Once trouble starts brewing in your ex’s rebound relationship, your ex may begin to start missing you, and perhaps, even develop stronger feelings for you. Once phrases such as, “do you miss me”, or “what if we were still together” begin to surface, it might be time to move on to stage two –– and begin the “have you ever thought about getting back together” conversation. Whilst this doesn’t guarantee a 100% success rate of getting back with your ex, at least you know that she’s open to the idea –– and won’t mind you trying to chase her back.
Now, if you’re the one who made a blunder that ended the relationship, the situation you’re in can be a lot more challenging. Look, we all make mistakes –– but you must be willing to learn from them and commit to changing. You need to want her back for the right reasons, and no, it can’t be simply because “you’re bored”, or “you’re used to her”. Again, chasing your ex back risks causing extra heartache and pain to her, which is the last thing you want after breaking her heart.
Once you’ve confirmed that you want her back, you need to ensure that the both of you are in a place where communication is open and that she doesn’t loathe your guts (kidding, but really… make sure she doesn’t hate you). Here are some ideas on how to get her to open up again.
Communication is key. As cliche as that may be, open communication is crucial to establish a strong foundation and build trust in any relationship. If there is too much bitterness and anger, have faith and let things be. She’s probably better off alone at this moment.
Once she’s receptive to talking again, start with simple messages that consist of small talk. Ask her about her day, whether she’s doing fine, and if she’s eaten. Once you guys have established a friendly connection, take the right opportunity to apologize for your mistakes. Make sure that you do this sincerely, as admitting to your wrongdoings and asking for forgiveness exemplifies that you’ve processed your actions and are aware that you’ve caused her to hurt. Again, give her space and time to heal before she is ready to forgive again. In the meantime, continue talking to her slowly and casually. Rushing into things might put her in a difficult spot, so patience is key to get her to open up.
When she starts warming up to you again, take this positively that the trust between you two has grown and she’s at least partially accepted your apology. Use this opportunity to drop subtle hints –– such as “I miss us” and “I miss you” –– or whatever you think is appropriate for that moment. Also, it would be nice if you take the initiative to let her know that she’s important to you. Calling her in the middle of the day to ask how she’s been or ordering food over to her place are good ways to show your concern for her.
Once the time is right, ask her out and hope for the best. By this time, we hope that you’ve been able to show your ex that you really miss her and still hope to get back together. Perhaps, your ex may be feeling the same way about you, too! However, remember to take it slow. Rushing to chase your ex back may only cause her stress, frustration and confusion. Giving her patience and time to heal is only necessary for the relationship to rebuild again.
A broken relationship is difficult to salvage, but it’s not impossible; it only takes an incredible amount of time and patience to rebuild something that is broken. Remember, only chase your ex back if your motivations and desires are in the right place –– hurting her again would only nullify your chances of getting your ex back.
There’s no formula or one way to go about this, hence it’s crucial to take the time to figure out what works best for your ex. Only you know her best, so it’s up to you to be the judge of the situation. Don’t lose hope in this process, and keep pushing; hopefully, things will turn out the way they’re meant to be in the long run.